The 10 Strategies Identified by Adolescent Girls for Managing Peer Conflict

Many parents, teachers and teaching assistants will know that children and young adults will often fall out and argue. As children develop and reach puberty, these issues become increasingly complex and divisive. Additionally, adult intervention can sometimes serve to exacerbate the situation (Huntley and Owens 2013).

Recent research by Huntley and Owens (2013) has successfully identified 10 possible strategies, developed by adolescent girls, that may prove useful in managing peer conflict. Seventy-five girls, aged between 14 and 15, were encouraged to engage in a series of focus groups.

Huntley and Owens (2013) found three areas of concern identified by the participants were:

1. The problems with groups with dominant leaders.
2. The power of non-verbal communication to exclude and intimidate.
3. Girls not feeling confident enough to have a voice and speak up for themselves.

 After further analysis and research Huntley and Owen (2013) proposed the following list, written in the words of the participants, as potential strategies for managing conflict:

1. Develop a wide circle of friends; don't just stick with one or two people. Then if something goes wrong with your group, you have other people to hang out with.
2.  Decide what is important and what is not, what you will take a stand for and what you will let go. If you feel strongly enough about an issue it is worth speaking up.
3. Walk away from conflict if it is getting out of hand – do not stay and be humiliated. Walk away and think about how you will deal with the situation.
4. If you feel comfortable talk to whoever is upsetting you one-on-one. See if you can sit down and work it out, without involving others. Let them know that you don't like what is happening.
5. Remove yourself from gossip, bitchiness and back stabbing. If you stay away from this type of behavior you cannot be accused of doing or saying something which could be seen as offensive. This also applies to texting comments, emails, My Space, Facebook and MSN.
6. Be clear about where your boundaries (limits) are if you are feeling uncomfortable. Do not let the peer group make decisions for you – otherwise you will finish up participating in things that you do not want to do.
7. Find friends who are mostly like you and do not do drugs or drink. That way if you go out, having a friend with you who does not drink or do drugs makes it easier to withstand the pressure from the peer group.
8. If it is important to voice your opinion, ask for advice from a trusted friend outside the friendship group. Enlist help from your parents if dealing with the peer group is too difficult. Speak to the school counsellors if you don't know what to do.
9. Ignore the evil eye, daggers, the stare and the cold shoulder. Do not repeat the negative behaviours that have been done to you or that you have seen operating within your group. Ignoring immature behavior is the best thing to do.
10. If you are pressured by the group to do something you don't want to do or go somewhere that you don't want to go, and you don't feel comfortable voicing your opinion, you can say that your parents will not allow you out (but make sure your parents know what the situation is about).

References:

Huntley J. & Owens L. (2013). Collaborative conversations: adolescent girls' own strategies for managing conflict within their friendship groups, International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 18 (4) 236-247. DOI: 10.1080/02673843.2012.690933